Crème de la Crème Pomme Frites

“Made from Chipperbec potatoes blanched in Dom Perignon Champagne and J. LeBlanc French Champagne Ardenne vinegar, then fried in pure goose fat from France before being topped with Crete Senesi Pecorino Tartufello and black summer truffles from Italy, the Crème de la Crème Pomme Frites are $200 — and own the title of being the world’s most expensive French fries” – This is the description given by InsideHook’s shiny Food and Drink section for a dish that most “good” parents will try to steer clear of for their kids.

If my child tells me, “Mom but I love French fries the most! I can eat them all day everyday for the rest of my life and will never ever get bored”, I will obviously not support that choice because I know the consequences of having that diet can be detrimental. It is “obvious” only because of the common sense and wisdom from education, reading, health histories, all-in-all because of the data that I have gathered from experience living over the years on this earth, that I can now subconsciously process to conclude “No dear, how about you eat these vegetables and pasta first, along with the side of these fries”. While I deny French fries as being the main course, I also know that I am not going to end up with a happy child if I eliminate French fries from her diet altogether.

What I did there was run a mental exploratory analysis of what’s best for my child, knowing what options are present, what my child sees (to the best of their knowledge), what I know is best (to the best of my knowledge) and how we can find a happy ending without compromising a great deal.

This is exactly what I’ve been trying to do when we discuss career paths for all my children. It’s a misconception that all south Asian parents only want their children to become doctors or engineers. World-class education and worldwide experience gives south Asian parents the knowledge and means to find the best fit for their children’s’ passion. Fortunately, most of the south Asian families that I know in the United States, have supported, and encouraged their kids to seek out career paths that follow their passion. The child brings their area of interest and the parents bring the maps and tools with their life experiences and guidance, and together the family builds this path to success.

There is a difference between just supporting your kids to follow their passion, and, exploring the paths with them and being with them on their journey, until both of you have found the most optimum one. The latter is called parenting. Simply showing-up or being-there is the minimum expectation from parenthood. Beyond that being your child's guide, friend, agent and advocate is what's critical to their overall upbringing. Being hands-off or having a my way or the highway attitude, are both harmful methods of parenting. It will take hard work and several iterations to find the right fit, but where there is will, patience, love and smarts :), there’s surely a way. 

We all know that we cannot keep working unless we find joy from our work. My best friend very wisely reminds me often that every person’s definition of joy and happiness is their own. It could be money, relationships, titles, feeling of accomplishment or all of the above. It is like a fingerprint, unique to the person. However, we can all agree that a 24x7x365 painter can only derive joy from painting until it supports his basic necessities of life. A painter whose parents supported him to rely solely on the sale of his paintings to feed himself, are pretty much setting up their kid for failure (in general terms). A quick search of the US Bureau of Labor statistics would have resulted in educating them that the simple art and design occupations growth projections are way slower than the average of other occupations. However, if that artist had a bachelor’s degree in graphics, special effects, animation or digital arts, their odds at guaranteeing sustenance are much better. Further exploration would result in the discovery of various 2D and 3D art platforms at Disney or Universal or any larger studios where the artist can have a fulfilling outlet for their original art, all while still holding canvas or watercolor exhibitions and sales all year round. Keeping up with the job (R)evolution should be part of our dinner-table conversation.

The flipside to this could be that in spite of all the data and information, a child does not want to pursue the path based on the family’s collective research for whatever reason. None of my children fall into that category right now, but if they did, my POA in that case would be to agree as a family that the decision is to wing-it based on instinct, but at least have a Plan B well chalked out if winging it does not fly. Most south Asian families have a healthy family dynamic and will agree that the painters' gotta eat too!

Both the above would still be the well-researched ways, not necessarily the easy ways, to pave to enable the child to become the best version of themselves.

None of this is possible unless both parties, my child and I are ready to put in the hard work. My husband explained it to one of my daughters very nicely. “Sailee, tell me what would you like to see yourself doing when you grow up? We can then find out the average lifestyle that occupation can provide and paint a virtual picture of what quality of life you can expect. We can then work our way down from that path to see what we should be doing right now to eventually get there.” My advice was, “If you cannot “see” what you would be doing in the future, just try to figure out what you like very much right now and we can then do research and draw several possible paths all leading different ways to different lifestyles starting from that seed, and then that will probably help you visualize where you would like to end up.” Its basically the option to perform either Top-down, or bottom-Up exploratory analysis. This has been an eye-opening exercise for our family, and we all have learned a lot in the process. Not only is this process most inclusive of the child’s interests, but it has led to discoveries of occupations that we would have never known about, had we have not gone looking for it. It has also helped the children in setting their priorities in life straight. At no point did we discourage our kids from picking an occupation because it paid less than another one. A more humble choice of lifestyle is perfectly ok as long as you knowingly chose it. We simply made sure we all had the facts so we could make an informed decision. This is us not pushing our children into stereotype south Asian occupations, but in fact guiding our children to make informed decisions based on well-researched facts. Every parent wants to give the best to their children. I will say that this analytical skill to take life’s important decisions using a holistic approach backed by data and foresight, is the best gift you can give them.

A dream does not become a reality, until it is pursued with eyes wide open, so let’s not teach them to dream blindly. Let’s equip them with skills to realize their dreams and then encourage them to dream new dreams. Its wouldn’t be healthy, financially, or physically, to have Crème de la Crème Pomme Frites everyday however attractive it may look. So let’s recognize them for what they are and enjoy them once-in-a-while, while a continuous serving of vegetables, protein and carbs nourishes our long, healthy and fulfilling life.

Poem for Aarnav on his 10th Birthday

Aarnav

Your name means ocean,
you mean the world to me...
My love for you is deeper
Than the deepest abyss at sea.

You're funny, smart and equally silly
And most times the life of the party
You're always game for fun,
and a supersized meal that is hearty!!

I know sometimes I seem harsh and demanding,
and even hard-to-please or unfair...
But that's because You are my first born,
and its only because I care.

You're turning 10, big number, Oh my!
you're growing up so fast,
where's my little boy!!

It feels like just yesterday
just the two of us in our yellow house
You chewing on everything within your reach,
and me singing countless lullaby's.

You are my best-est boy,
my friend, my joy and my pride...
you will always be a winner in my eyes,
be it Holocom or Got Fries!

The next years will quickly fly,
bringing with them big changes.
You will face decisions big and small
Some may seem upon which your life hinges.

I want you to know, I'll always be there
to help you and guide you in any way
I'll be your rock and you can trust me...
Because you've got a friend in me.

Embrace your life with open arms,
Live it the best you can.
Do to others what you would have them do to you,
Being true to yourself, will make you a better man.

As I rest my pen, and get ready
to email this poem to you
I see you coming back from school,
and rush to the door to hug you.

Sailee and Saloni at age 8 - 2nd Grade Spicewood Elementary, Austin TX.

SAILEE

Sailee is great at making lists. Whether its playdates, groceries, vacations, packing , anything...Once she knows about it, out comes her notepad and pencil and she gets busy with making a list and planning for it. She is good at breaking down a problem into smaller chunks and then re-iterating over those chunks until it makes sense (atleast to her :)) There are many such examples - but the most recent ones are from UIL story telling practice sessions. After the UIL story is told to them, they are given a sheet of paper and 10 mins to write down something that will help them retell the story. The first things Sailee wrote were the name of the story and character names, since those are the most important and very easily forgotten while telling the story. Writing those down made those get imprinted in her memory and then she proceeded to use the remaining time to write the story events. Another example is from Destination Imagination. When they were given the task of coming up with 2 different world cultures for the team, She made a list first about what kind of differences she would think about - such as clothing and food. Then she listed out countries that she thought has interesting clothing and food. Then listing out by each country what clothing and food she knew about it or found by asking Siri (iPAD). I like to see her mind working like that to break a topic into smaller chunks and addressing the chunks, rather than attacking it as a whole.

Sailee loves stage performances. She is animated and has excellent memory about the things she reads. She can retell a story or conversation she heard or read with great detail. She can also make stories and songs on the fly. She and her sister Saloni have a video collection of many of their songs and performances that they put up every night. They frequently run out of memory on their tablets simply because of the sheer volume of such "shows".

Sailee is friendly, kind and understanding. Being the older twin, she typically is the one to compromise in sticky situations and let her twin sister Saloni get the better hand. She is mature and can be reasoned with. Even though she is a twin, she often feels like the middle child (being the older twin) and that leads to confusion in her mind about her placement and decisions that she has to make. But she is amazing at resolving such situations by finding an agreeable middle ground.

Sailee is a very expressive girl. If she is put in a group that calls for a leader, she does not shy away from such an opportunity. She's always full of ideas and very inquisitive, always asking for explanations for things/places/words that she hears/reads for the first time. She's not shy and loves stage performances of any kind. She's friendly and approachable to both peers and children younger than her. She's afraid of "monsters", but can become the brave one if her twin Saloni is afraid too.

SALONI

Saloni has very good creative thinking. It can sometimes be very abstract and hard to understand, but its perfectly clear to her. She is very descriptive. One example from UIL story telling practice session - After the UIL story is told to them, they are given a sheet of paper and 10 mins to write down something that will help them retell the story. Saloni can write most of story (which was read to them for 20 mins) in that 10 min time on her paper. Sometimes she runs out of paper. Its amazing that at her age she can focus for that long on writing what she heard without stopping. The UIL guide has to ask her to stop writing after the 10 mins, when most kids her age or older have finished already or did not know what to write. She likes to finish a task that she started (and likes). She is always on top of any homework from school and is paranoid about missing something. That even include artwork. Once she spent 2 hours on filling up an entire 8X11 sheet of paper with tie-die design and did not want to stop until she had filled up the whole page. She practices drawing Anime girl sketches from her friend, until she get its the way she wants it to look. She inspires her twin Sailee to draw. She has volunteered to make costumes and props for their Destination Imagination team and is already running various ideas for it by the team leader and the team members.

Saloni loves stage performances as much as her twin Sailee. She is the content contributor to their home productions, with costumes, drawings, cards and songs. Sailee directs, they both write, Saloni provides props and they both perform. They form a very good team. Saloni has a good memory and creativity to use bits about what they read or learned in their productions. She has a rock collection, bead collection, "fairy items" collection, and just shiny interesting stuff collection.

Saloni is very social. She is always planning playdates every chance she gets. She loves to host her friends at our house and is ready with her friends' parents phone numbers and permissions, even before I get a chance to ask them myself. She can be the boss of everyone or everyone's baby. She may have a hard time controlling her emotions at times, that leads to out bursts - but they can be fixed with a long hug and lots of loving words. She loves to give hand drawn cards to friends.

Saloni always brings a smile to peoples faces. She is friendly, emotional and considerate. She loves to hug. She is clear most of the times about what she wants or feels, and I rarely get a "I don't know" from her. She is creative and is always drawing something when she is not making "shows" with her twin Sailee. She doesn't hide her feelings and it's not hard to guess whats going on with her just by looking at her. She feels safe with her twin Sailee. She loves purple, sparkles, princesses.

Poem for Aarnav on the occasion of his Munj - PROMISE

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs,
And most times I can tell whose sound they bear.
It’s the start to my everyday, asking the routine questions -
Did you brush your teeth? What do you want for breakfast?
It’s the promise that our family morning is in session.

As the day lingers on, with work and responsibilities,
I get calendar updates of your daily activities.
I wonder how you manage so much, and usually very well!
Your promise to remain committed makes me marvel.

At your tender age of 11,
you can be goofy, cute and annoying
But when you've had enough, out comes your famous saying –
It’s burnt in my memory and I promise to never forget it -
“My life sucks, with kid privileges and adult responsibilities.”

As the day calms down with the promise,
of seeing you walk back home from school,
It brings wonder to find out once again,
everything that happened, however minuscule.
“How was your day Sweety?” as usual I ask,
“Hi Mamma!... Good” is your quick response, as you move on to your tasks.

My day is filled with promises,
seemingly routine and mundane,
That’s what keeps it normal and simple,
for which you are to blame.

So promise me that - as you step into your youth,
you will always tell yourself nothing but the truth.
You’ll be nice to people and appreciate simple pleasures,
Because in the end you’ll realize that’s the only thing that matters.

Promise to stay enthusiastic or silly when need be,
And accept life’s challenges as part of its journey.
And in turn I promise that I’ll always be there for you,
When you need me - to help your feelings,
however boring or blue.

--Love, Mom

Happy Home Anniversary in Austin!

This is the place that we love the best,
Our little brick house like a ground-birds nest.

The Pecan in the front shields and shades
As much as in Fall its fruit it sheds.

The large airy Family Room, is cozy enough for us five
But when with friends and family, there's enough room to Jive.

The Kitchen is the heart of the house and definitely an ol' soul,
Always obliging and serving its goal.

The Master is where the action happens, new stories are begun,
But just like any successful relationship, there's lot of work done! 

The Kids Bedrooms are cute, just like each of them,
Their own personality and designs, shines through the mayhem.

The Backyards' our retreat, with trees, pool and hot tub,
The kids never tire of it, but maybe the neighbors do, from our ruckus! :) 

So in my quiet office, in this house that I love the best,
I wish us good wishes and memories, and many more years well spent.

Shuttle

It has been 8 months since we moved to Austin with the clan. One of the reasons we moved from beautiful Fort Collins, CO was because we craved diversity, and the street smarts and common sense that comes with it. One of the biggest advantages of growing up in cosmopolitan Mumbai is that my tolerance, bias and compassion are not based on race, caste, religion, color or gender. I wanted my children to grow up in such an atmosphere as well.

Since we arrived in Austin we have met people from all over the world and it has been wonderful. I met non-American citizens living in Austin (of course!), American citizens who grew up outside of the USA, mixed race families and children, families practicing dual religions and non-Indians running Hindu temples. With diversity also comes competitiveness and leadership traits like public speaking, instincts about people and openness because you get trained to talk to people with different backgrounds in a way they can relate to. I have found more Indians running their own businesses than I could have imagined. This makes me proud and happy to be here.

My Honda Odyssey had 4 recalls on it over the years that I needed to get fixed (lazy much?) so I took it to First Texas Honda. They needed to keep the car for 24 hours and so I opted for the shuttle service to drop me back home and pick me up the next day when the recalls were fixed. I did not know that these two shuttle trips would be a valuable addition to my diversity encounters. On the first shuttle trip from the Honda dealer to home, there were 5 of us including the driver in the car. One of the passengers, a lady, said she would have preferred a bicycle to ride back to her house instead of the shuttle as that would have counted as her workout for the day. I am always amazed by people like this who want to make everything that they do count towards something. This is a quality I need to get. She was the first one to be dropped off since she lived the closest to the dealership. After that the rest of us in the van started to talk about what we did for a living and I learnt that the Chinese senior citizen had recently opened his own company to make car engines, after retirement. They were only 6 employees big and were always hiring. This got the other gentleman in the car talking. He was a double engineer, mechanical and electrical, and worked for a small company which was recently bought by Intel. He dreaded the 35 min commute to the Intel office that would begin soon. He was unsure how he would adjust to working for a multinational company after having worked for a small company for 20 years. That got me talking about Anant being in Intel for 15 years, and our experience with the company. We talked about creative independence, hierarchy issues, unrealistically long or short project plans and, pay and benefits packages. It was great getting an insight on familiar issues from someone at a different stage in life. He got off from the van with an intention of applying to the Chinese man’s engine company. All this while, our driver was very silent and un-contributing to the conversation. All the people in the car were dropped off, and just the driver and I were now left in the car. Since my destination was still 5 miles away and the driver did not know his way around the area, I started talking to him (yeah right, like I would not have talked to him anyway!). Turns out our driver was a prince turned pauper. He was at a senior level at AT&T and left there to start his own company. This new company faced litigation and he ended up losing all his life savings in settling. There was a point, when he had a ranch in San Diego with horses. He was also a collector of watches. He had to sell everything eventually and move out. He came to Austin about 6 months ago and is looking for work, which is hard to come by because he is over qualified for the places he applies to. He drives the shuttle for now but would love to get back into business operations where he belongs. I have a hard time believing that there can be only two options for someone, either heaven or hell, with nothing in between. I told him not to lose hope and keep trying and good things will happen. When I told him that he will get a chance to restart his watch collection, he said that he did not care about those things anymore. He has been there and done that. Now he only cares about doing what he loves with his family standing by him. It was incredible that when the rest of us in the van were talking about being able to save a million by retirement, there he was silently driving having lost 4 million in a matter of days. He had probably enjoyed more comforts than any one of us in the van and definitely more loss. He said, ‘A bank account has no humility’. He dropped me home and said goodbye with hope of finding himself again.

The next day a different shuttle came to pick me up from home. This time I was the only passenger going to the dealership. The driver greeted me and started towards the highway. After a couple of minutes he asked me if I was Indian and if I was born in India. When I answered yes, he started to talk in Hindi and asked if I would like to hear Hindi songs. It was a beautiful 80’s classics collection. He told me that he was from Afghanistan and had moved to Austin just 6 months ago from there. He used to be a translator in the US Army in Afghanistan. He received his green card in 6 days (yes that’s right) after application. He grew up watching Hindi movies and that’s how he learned Hindi (shocker!). He also spoke Farsi, Pashto, Urdu and a little Arabic. He sounded exactly like the Afghani actors from Kabul Express when he spoke Hindi – adorable. We spoke about Hindi movies and places to watch them in Austin, while ‘Do lafzon ki hai, dil ki kahani’ played in the background. He told me all about his family and 2 little kids that he left back in Afghanistan while he got himself settled in USA. He said he was self-conscious about his English and needed to improve it in order to get a good job. He longed to bring his family here so they could be together. Such pure and simple wants, a longing for a regular life. I thanked him for playing such wonderful songs in the van and that it was great to speak in Hindi with him, before I exited the van at the dealership. When I picked up my car, I made it a point to mention to the dealership serviceman, what a good job both the shuttle drivers were doing.

The last two days gave me not only an experience of cultural diversity, but also economic and social diversity.
Diverse people (Chatty Cathy’s) + on a shuttle + 20 minutes = Great Time!

To Dear Manu

Feb 14, 2014

Happy Birthday!

Dear Aarnav,

Wish you a very Happy Birthday my baby. I cannot believe you are already 8 and almost 5 feet tall! The years are surely flying by. You are my favorite boy in the whole world and I wanted to tell you that today. You are kind, obedient and dedicated. You are also sensitive and caring towards Sai and Salo.

I wish that you enjoy your day to the fullest by playing with your friends and having a fun Valentine ’s Day party in school. I hope you liked that gifts that Baba and I got you. I bet you are excited for your birthday party tomorrow at Miramont as well. I hope you like the football stadium cake I made for you.

Always be honest to yourself. It does not matter what your friends or others say or think about you. What is important is that you give your best shot to everything that you want to do. Give all of your energy, time and thought to the things at hand and you will always be a winner. I wish you best of luck to win a trophy this year as that has been your dream for some time now. I am sure if you work your hardest Ram Bappa will make sure that you get a trophy.

Whether you get a trophy or win in something or not, Baba and I will always love you no matter what.

Lots of Hugs and Big Kisses to you.

Love

Aai.

Happy 10th Wedding Anniversary

I sit here and think of you today
trying to find the right words to say

You gave me happiness, you gave me freedom
each day with you has been exciting, not a single day of boredom

We have helped each other grow, with each life experience
Strengthing our relationship, perception and patience

We have had our ups and downs, rosy times and sad
but our life together has always been eventful, and for that i am glad

You are the most faithful and trustworthy person i know
I am yours and you are mine, nothing or no one else in tow

You are a man of simple needs, you always say
I am happy, at ease and in love with you, because you are that way

Last but surely not the least, you gave me the best gift that i could ever ask for
My 3 little babies, a perfect family i adore

Its been only 10 years and this is just the start
of our life together till death do us part.

Happy 10th Wedding Anniversary Anant. I Love You.

A picture is worth a thousand words

In addition to the above cliched phrase, a picture can also generate a thousand words/smiles/laughs as well as a 1000 V shock. It is the number one media used in business and education and of course the lifeline of social networks. The amount of frenzy that a picture can generate in this day is evidence enough of what it must have been when the first ever picture was taken back in the 1800’s.

I have always enjoyed browsing through various categories of pictures and photos. Since the advent of photo sharing websites there has been an explosion in the amount of pictures that a person takes on an average. Almost every electronic device with a little bit of brain can take pictures. The other day I was amazed when my TV also took a picture of me watching it. That was creepy at first but then everyone in the house forgot watching the TV channels and just started taking pictures of themselves infront of it or watching themselves on the camera. Most fotos shared on the internet have the people that took them in it. Personal pictures are shared more than any other category of pictures. I can speak for girls/women when I say that most women love to get their pictures taken. Thats the way they can really “see” themselves in a way that others see them. That may sound shallow, but if it boosts your confidence and helps you with building your image then why not! After all if you are happy with the way you look you will be even more kind and gentle to others. :) I loved Ellen Degeneres’ sarcastic phrase in the Covergirl Ad, "Inner beauty is important but not nearly as important as outer beauty".. ha ha..

Pictures can take you back in time, remind you about the present and make your dreams more clearer. They can motivate, instigate, discourage or destroy. They are powerful any way you choose to use or view them. So be thoughtful about who you share them with. They may be moments from your life or images of what you want to make of your life. But both ways they will always be a big part of your life. A picture is worth a thousand words but a cherished picture is priceless.

A new Beginning

The last time I posted something here was way back in 2009. Can’t believe I haven’t had the time, enthu or need to pen down something in the past 3 years! The fact that I had my twins in the same year has a lot to do with it, but still it should not be my only excuse! FB timeline reminded me that I joined FB in Aug 2008. Only six months into it I was taken over by pregnancy and FB mania enough to not have time for writing. I am not an avid blogger but I do like the concept and I believe it’s a good way of introspection. My new years’ resolution is a little more introspection and a little less FB. I will try to view my Facebook account only as a friends’ news channel and not as my duty. This sounds more like an oath than a resolution, but so be it. Anant told me once that he read that too much FB can make you egocentric. I had never thought about it that way before. But I can see how that would be possible. One has to decide for themselves where to draw the line. I will do that by writing what’s on my mind here than on FB. Cheers to more meaningful blog posts and thumbs down less meaningful “likes”. May this year be happier than the previous ones to all.

Friends

You choose your friends, not your family. I have come across this saying many times. At first glance this sounds derogatory to the family side. There seems to be a presumption here that family is boring since you are born into it and you have no control over who you want and dont want to be your family, and friends are more fun since you can choose them.

Is it really all true that you can choose your friends? Lets say I want to choose 2 people to be my friends from a set of people who I know well. Now let me be clear here, the set of people who I know well are my aquaintances and the 2 people from that set are the ones I want to be “friends” with. What is the guarantee here that those 2 people will like me equally as I like them and want to be my friends?

So should'nt the saying be something like, “You choose your friends from the lot which shares your mutual feelings”? I mean you are not really free to xchoose whoever you want, you have to choose from the lot that is available to you. When this happens, there are compromises.
Again lets say I find my BFF finally, I would not think twice before saying to him/her, hey you are like family to me, you are my “real” family. Or vice versa, if you have a family member who makes you wish you did not share the same lastname, you'd wish he/she was not your family. So now such behavior makes anybody you consider as “family” much more valuable than someone who you dont. So should'nt the saying should be ammended to, “you eventually find good friends and include them in your family”?.

A long time ago one of my friends then, told me the difference between aquaintances and friends. Most people have a large number of aquaintances and a decent social life with them. But even in a crowd, its those few people whose presence matters most. They are the party drivers for me, the ones without whom i cannot enjoy a gathering completely. They are the ones whose company i enjoy most because they think, talk, laugh, get excited and want to do similar things like me. They are there when i need a hand, a shoulder or a high-five. There are very few such people one can find for themselves in the world. The ones that stick with you for life, irrespective of time or geographic distance. The ones with whom even after a long silent gap, you can start where you left off without hesitation or awkwardness. The ones that come with no strings attached. They are my friends whom I have made my family, and my family whom I have made my BFF. They are the ones who make the journey to the destination, so much more fun. :-)

EUT08: Paris

Paris was a breeze, since it was my 5th time there. Already knew the metro system and had all directions to places, metro times, ticket prices etc in the excel sheet. Our hotel was 10 mins walk from Alesia metro station. Refreshingly, the room was huge with 3 single beds. So each of us had his/her own piece to claim for cluttering. Obviously Aarnav did not want his own bed and wanted whichever Baba (Anant) chose. This past 6 months at least he has been Baba's tail, wanting to do, eat and wear anything that Baba would. So I have been having some alone and peaceful time for myself, at least until Aarnav decides that he wants to tag along with me.

So once again after dragging the luggage to the hotel, we crashed for sometime and then freshened up headed for the city.. We saw Arc du Triumphe, walked on the Champs Elysée's, saw the Place de la Concorde, just spent some time in a Jardin, whose name I don't remember now and Pont Alexandre III. The bridge is really very beautiful with elaborate golden and black carvings. We saw boats sail lazily on the Seine and had dinner and returned back to Alesia. On our way back we stopped over at a supermarket to pick up some breakfast for the next morning, since breakfast was not included in the hotel. We picked up some milk, cereal, juice, mineral water, ice cream and fruit. The ice cream was gone by the time we walked from the store to the hotel :-).

The Louvre Museum and Eiffel tower were planned for the next day. We decided to go to Eiffel first in the morning after our little packaged breakfast. By the time we got to the Eiffel by Metro, Aarnav was fast asleep. We dedicated the rest of the afternoon to the tower until Aarnav woke up. Once he woke up he actually got to see the Tower and wanted one of the miniature one's for himself. We bought a little red Eiffel for him for a EURO and that was enough to satisfy him. Little boys, little demands. Then we headed to the Louvre museum. Once we got off at the Louvre Rivoli metro station, we could not find Louvre..my 5th time there was not helping. I found some “Desi looking” guys selling water bottles on the street and just took a chance and asked them for directions in Hindi, and it worked. We were in front of Louvre in no time. We clicked a few pics here and there and waited to get in the museum. It was 5 pm by that time, and discounted tickets were available from 6 pm onwards. So we just spent some time going up and down on the stroller elevator inside the glass pyramid. Aarnav loved it a lot and could not get enough of it, and an hour flew by. We then got the discounted tickets and followed the way to the Monalisa looking at the map. I have to say that all my experiences with maps inside the Louvre have been confusing. Not one time have I found the way in one shot. Anyways, we saw the entire museum, even the parts that we were not interested in, while looking for the Monalisa. The Monalisa needless to say came at the end of our search. Anant could not stop laughing when he looked at the size of the picture. I had raised his expectations and in addition to that we had been looking for it for so long while inside the Museum. He had thought that the picture would be BIG, occupying a whole wall. I told him that the beauty of the art and not the size of the picture, was important. Anyways, that did it to our enthusiasm and we grabbed one of the benches in the art gallery and rested our feet. We had been walking the whole time since morning that day. It was 8 pm already and we all were hungry. I satisfied Aarnav's hunger a little bit by giving him left over pizza from the previous day. We then walked out and wined and dined in a Chinese-French restaurant. The food sucked big time, but the wine was Good.

Tired and sleepy, we returned at around 10:30 pm to our supermarket, to stock up on breakfast supplies and water for the next day. Our train to Lucerne was the next day afternoon, so we took it easy, woke up late had a late breakfast... Aarnav had his song and bath for an extra long time in the extra large French tub and used up all the little liquid bath gel bottles to create his bubble bath. All in all a fun morning. We packed and left for the train station to catch our next train to Lucerne, Switzerland.

EUT 08 – London, Lets get it started.

Once we reached London we were in the flow. As the song goes we were runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin' and completely in the zone. We had our day by day and hour by hour Excel sheet ready. We specially made that so that we would not have to spend time in figuring out the what, where and how about things to do next. After we landed in London Luton airport, the Excel told us to take the Greenline bus, the number, the fare, the place to buy tickets, the place to board it from and the place to get off. We reached Baker Street metro station and took the Bakerloo line to Paddington station. The excel gave us directions to our hotel from there and after circling the hotel a couple of times we finally realized that it was our hotel and checked in. The room was basic with a bed, bath, television and closet. The best thing was that it was on the Ground floor in a 4 storey hotel with no elevator. The staircase was about 3 feet wide and so to get our fat asses and suitcases up would have been a nightmare. The complimentary English breakfast was served down just one flight of stairs in the basement.

It was drizzling a little when we got out for a stroll after freshening up. The excel sheet told us we could either do Hyde park which was a 5-7 mins walking distance from the hotel or the Marble Arch which was a couple of stops by the Red Double Decker bus. We took the Hyde park option, but walked in the opposite direction of the Park. That was the disadvantage of getting too much in the 'Zone' I guess, occasionally it meant that we were like a couple of Asses just following the carrot (the excel in our case). Anyways, we realized that after we had walked for about 10 mins and decided that we were too exhausted and called it quits. We ate at a nice Malaysian Restaurant which had got 5 stars in the airlines restaurant review. It was worth it. The food was bellisimo.

The excel advised us to do East London that day. We followed all instructions word to word (with occasional common sense intervention) and did the Tower bridge, Tower of London, London Bridge, St. Paul's cathedral, Cleopatra's Needle, Trafalgar Square, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey. We stuck to the public buses and tubes for transport and it worked it a charm. Hats off to the public transport system of London. Even with a child and his belongings, which can be really bulky, we had no problem traveling around. But traveling with luggage and a child and his belongings...... now thats a different story. Anant's pumping metal for all these years came in real handy there. It came in handy and worked all of the times except for one. On the day we came from Inverness, we came by tube to Paddington. Now the Bakerloo line is in the depths of Underground hell. The first escalator was the longest, steepest and narrowest one. I took Aarnav by the hand and one backpack and climbed onto it. Anant managed to pull our 2 big suitcases one backpack and Aarnav's stroller on the escalator and our journey to the surface began. Not for long though. One of the suitcases slipped from its position on the steepest part of the escalator. Anant tried to maintain his balance, but one after the other all the stuff slipped and took Anant with it. He did a complete 180 deg flip and landed on the bags a few feet below on the escalator. He would have slid further down if 3 nice Sikh ladies would not have broken his fall. We all managed to get everyone up and safe in the end. Henceforth on all escalators we would take only what we could carry, deposit it on top and come back for the next. It was not like someone would run away with a 23 kilo bag while we were transporting the other...at least we hoped so. This is one incident I will never forget, and believe me, I forget a LOT of incidents.

Back to past present, we docked at a Bangladeshi Indian restaurant and had an elaborate mughlai dinner. Aarnav met his first love there. The Tarka Daal. He had never liked it in any of the restaurants that we had been to in Colorado. But ghar ki murghi daal barabar, and bahar ki daal was like murghi to him. He hogged on an entire adult serving of it along with rice and a little bit of sabji. I was almost in tears to see my skinny dude in love with food for the first time. Seeing him eat that way had made my day and we all had a restful night and were ready to follow the excel sheet the next day.

The next day was West London's turn. We took the tube and then the bus to Oxford street. We saw the Marble Arch and then decided to goto Hamley's toy store in London. I remembered Hamley's as an awe inspiring toy store from the last time I was in London in 2002. This time it seemed like a vertical toys r' us to me. It was incredible how I felt so different about the same place after a few years in mega polis.Anyways, Aarnav played with the wooden train station model literally for hours. He had been asking for a Spongebob toy for a long time and we bought it for him finally at Hamley's after paying double the price in British pounds. But Aarnav was happy and we owed him that much, for being such a good boy until then. I remembered my colleagues statement one day when cribbing about how demanding Aarnav was getting. He told me ' Sanika, little boys, little problems, big boys, big problems'. It helps me deal with my emotions when I am irritated with Aarnav.

After Aarnav's shopping it was my turn. I visited Clarks, Primark, Mango, Mexx and Zara. Did not buy a thing from those places, but made a lot of mental notes of snapshots of what to buy once I am back in the US. It did not make sense to buy any of the stuff in British pounds. I told Anant how awful we looked in comparison to the hot-shot, fashion-week round the year kinda people of London. I made a resolution that henceforth I would not be a tightwad and spend money on exclusive items. We ate dinner in Aarnav's sasuraal, the bangladeshi restaurant. Anant's patience had given up by that time and we headed back to our pigeon hole.

We woke up, checked out and took the tube to King's Cross station to catch the Eurorail to Paris. We were all excited since the train whisks you under the sea though the famous Channel Tunnel, also called the Chunnel, to Paris. Goodbye London, we loved you. Bongiorno! Paris.

EU Trip - Scotland

We were greeted by rain when we landed in Edinburgh – the best small country in the world. We took a taxi to our first pit stop, The Globetrotter Inn. It is a cute little upgraded youth hostel. We were a little worried because a youth hostel brought an image of bunk-beds and common toilets to us. But since we had inquired earlier and confirmed that our room will have a double bed and an 'en suite' we were confident that we would have it. As promised our room had a double bed and and 'en suite' and nothing more. That means no toiletries in the bathroom. Thankfully I had taken every scenario under consideration before we packed and so we had all the necessary stuff. The youth hostel was on the bay and hence had mind blowing views. The land was covered with lush green grass and wild flowers, the little houses around had beautiful flower window baskets and hangers, there were fruit trees and flower trees laden with produce and we could see land, water, forest and mountains all in one glance. It looked like the land of the gods. Heavenly. All our travel fatigue was lost after seeing such beauty. We left the hostel a couple of hours later and took the hostel shuttle to the Edinburgh downtown. The downtown was a different kind of beauty. It is on the top of hills with valleys having train tracks and gardens. The Princes Street is the main street and has the best views of all the historical buildings, gardens, Castle Hill and Edinburgh castle. We walked along the street for a while soaking in the views and then headed for dinner to a nearby Burger King. Henceforth, we would goto a McDonalds or Burger King in every country we visited to get a ballpark figure of the cost of food in those cities. We spent around 20 GBP at the BK for dinner. That was expensive by US standards but was not wallet emptying. We returned back by the shuttle and called it a day.
The next day was our GreyLine tour of Loch Lomond, The Trossachs & Stirling Castle. It was scheduled to be at 9:00 am from downtown. We were so tired and jet lagged that we woke up (inspite of the alarm) at 7:30 am. The next shuttle to DT was at 8:30. We got ourselves together and made it to the shuttle. We fought with traffic but missed our tour bus from the planned location. We were not going to miss this tour. I took the back pack and ran through traffic hoping to catch the bus somewhere praying that like us it must have stuck in traffic somewhere ahead. Poor Anant ran after me with Aarnav in the stroller. I kept on scanning all the white buses that I could see on my way and finally after 10 mins of sprinting I found it. It had stopped at a traffic light. I ran across the light and banged on the door. I could tell that the driver was startled but he did pull over for us. We got into the bus after apologizing for being late and thanking him for stopping for us. I still cannot imagine how Anant dodged all that traffic while pushing Aarnav in the stroller. We would not have made it to the bus if either of them would have given up. Kudos to you both! I love you guys.
The tour was fabulous. The Trossachs, Stirling castle, the boat ride on Loch Lomond with its pristine views of mountains, castles tucked away in the thicket, the green of the grass was just so serene. We had a simple lunch of lentil soup, bread and some sausage at a local restaurant and returned back refreshed. After a quick dinner on Princes street again we returned back to the Inn. The next day was our trip to Inverness.
We got into the bus on time for this one and traveled through the beautiful countryside to Inverness. The Town is very pretty, green, hilly and laid back. Our B&B was fabuloso and walking distance from downtown. We dropped our luggage in the B&B and then headed by taxi to Clansman Hotel harbour to hop onto the boat ride on Loch Ness. I had already raised Aarnav's excitement telling him that we may see 'Nessie' the monster in the loch somewhere. We took the ride on the Loch and I was surprised to see that 60% of the people on out boat were desi's. Not used to seeing so many desi's in Colorado. Reached Urquhart castle and spent sometime roaming around it. Anant wanted to read about the history of the castle, but surprisingly we could not find a sign or board anywhere stating any. We then had a quick bite at the visitor center and returned back to the city. We spent sometime walking around the Main street market and shops. There was a stunt show going on in downtown with a man lying on a pin-bed and a lady attempting to stand on his abdomen. But all the ppl watching the show looked shady so we did not spend too much time there. We saw the Inverness castle, some kilt stores, some bagpipes and headed for dinner in one of the 5 Indian restaurants. We had some exquisite Vindaloo and returned back to the B&B satisfied. After some movie watching on our Huge LCD TV at the B&B we packed and caught some z'es. The next morning we had an elaborate and delicious english breakfast cooked by the B&B lady and headed to the airport to catch our plane to London. The airport ppl were genial and again most of then were desi's.

EU Trip 2008 - The D-Day

On the D-day we took the airport shuttle to the airport. Our route was Denver- Detroit-Amsterdam-Edinburgh. On arrival at the airport we were told that our flight to Detroit was delayed and hence we would go to Memphis instead of Detroit. The northwest clerk at the baggage checkin counter told us to do a kiosk checkin since there was a big line and lot of chaos. We could not scan our passports through the slots since we hold Indian Passports, and they are not scannable. So we told the clerk that she will need to check us in the old fashioned way. I asked her how would we catch our next flight which was supposed to be from Detroit to Amsterdam, since according to the new plan they were sending us to Memphis. She was confused and then told us we would reach Amsterdam as planned. So my next question was will we have to go from Memphis to Detroit to catch our flight to Amsterdam. For some reason that seemed to have pissed her off, since she told us we would have to wait for 5 hours more if we needed to goto Detroit so badly. What kind of comment was that!!!!... I told her that I was confused as to how do I catch my next flight since the route was now changed and that did not mean that I have to fly through Detroit. The dimwit (her name was Kimberly) then told us that she will put us on another flight from Memphis to Amsterdam and that it would reach Amsterdam at the same time as the flight from Detroit would have reached. This was all I needed to hear and all the previous remarks were totally unnecessary. Well but not for our bonehead apparently. Before she gave us our boarding passes, she scribbled 4 S's on them. I did not ask her what it was as I had no more patience to talk anymore with her. So we headed to the security check. Thats when we learnt that the 4 S's meant that we were Quad-S'ed. It seems, every one in 10 people are randomly selected by the computer to head towards special security screening. Well I did not think that we were chosen too ramdomly though after our long chat with Kimberly. They opened our carryon bags and removed everything in it, told us to seperate out all liquids and gels into ziploc bags, remove all metal, shoes etc from your body and pass through the T-Ray scanner, after which they frisked us manually. Aarnav was made to pass through the scanner 3 times just because he kept jumping all the time when inside it. Now I did not know that this scanner is a controversial machine until afterwards when Anant told me about it. I felt extremely humiliated and broke down into tears. This was not a good start for our trip ahead. Anyways I calmed down in the train to the terminal and cursed Kimberly some more to get it off of my chest. Then we took our 3 flights without any more action thankfully and reached Edinburgh safely. Our trip had started finally.

Europe Trip Sept 2008 - The Planning Stage

Anant and I really wanted to make a EU trip before we got back to being pregnant and having sleepless baby screaming nights again.
We wanted a trip to remember since we know that once the second baby came, we will be so deep into parenthood for the next 5 years at least, that we may not get a chance to go for such a trip. And plus once kids are a little older they are hardly going to be interested in visiting monuments and churches and basilicas. All our trips in the next 10 years would be to the likes of Disneyland, Waterworld and Elitch Gardens. So for the next 10 years this was going to be our last big trip that we take for ourselves. Of course there are the India trips, but they don't qualify as vacation since we need vacation after coming back from them.

Well atleast we started off planning like this, blissfully unaware of what was in store for us. Anant was not as blissful as me though. He thinks pretty realistically about things, and he tells them as they are. Unlike me where I am a little “filmy”, thinking that nothing will go wrong and we will be able to do everything according to our planned schedule (which was jam packed) and plus have a second honeymoon while we are at it. Well I like that about us in a way. I am pretty optimistic most of the times and Anant usually does not have an opinion about anything until he experiences it himself. I bring my enthusiasm and my fun, and he gets his wisdom to the table. So while I was like, “ I cant wait to go on our fabulous vacation trip, I want to have some crazy fun”, he was like, “Lets get to our first destination safely first, and then we'll see how it goes.”, “We need to take it easy San, don't get disappointed if we cannot do all the stuff from our checklist”. It annoys me many times when he says things like these and brings me down to earth from cloud nine. But I have learnt too many times now in the past 5 years, that his way of thinking causes less pain and disappointment. So that's what I told myself throughout the planning stage of this trip, “Keep realistic goals, Sanika, don't get carried away”.
There was too much pressure though. Last trip for the next 10 years, keeping realistic goals, getting the schedule for each day and every hour of each day of the trip, keeping in mind Aarnav's nap-time, potty-time and eating time, and cramming all spots and countries that I wanted in the 3 weeks that we had. After the schedule was ready we would begin the booking process for the flights, hotels, trains and tours and then apply for the visa's.

Shubhasya Sheeghram was the way to go and so we started with the planning on Dec 27th 2007 at 10 AM sharp. We made a rough list of countries that we would like to visit. My abundant EU experience from my Amdocs days came in real handy. Scotland, London, Paris, Spain and Italy made the first list. After looking at various guided tour options and many a Google mapping hours later, Spain was out of the picture. We finalized the start date and the end date of the trip as well as the start point and end point and made the flight bookings accordingly. Everything in the middle was still unplanned. I had already been to Scotland, London and Paris before so planning the number of days and spots was not tough for those. Once We came to Italy, we realized that we had two days too many for Italy. Anant bringing in his wisdom said that we should give those days to Paris so that we could relax there. I was totally not interested in spending 4 days in Paris. Secretly I had the craving to squeeze Switzerland into our plan, especially since we would have to pass through it anyways while going from Paris to Italy. A few hours of emotional blackmail later, Anant agreed. :-) So there was our final list. Scotland, London, Paris, Switzerland, Venice, Florence and Rome. Now all that remained to be done was hotel and train booking and some local tours and tickets if necessary. We did our research on EuroRail and railpasses. Ordered them when they were available. We devoted 3 hours every Saturday and Sunday for the next 5 months for the hotel research and booking. We were 90% done by June 2008.

Next on the list was visa's. We got the UK visa after getting fingerprinted the n-th time. The fun began when We found out that we needed to apply for the Schengen visa to the Italian consulate. Italian consulate are “Bade Log”. They needed both of us to fly to Chicago consulate for a 15 min interview which would determine whether we got the visa's or not. They is no loop hole. Anant was so furious, that he yelled to the lady on the phone that he had no intention of spending another $700 in flight tics and hotel reservations on top of what he was already contributing to their tourism department. He told me he would cut out Italy completely and return back to Denver from Switzerland. I saw my house of cards come crashing down. “Wait Hon”, I told him, “let me find a way to make this work”. I spent the next half day frantically getting all info I could on the internet about Schengen visa policy and consulate policy. And there it was a trick to get the visa's without any hassle. Schengen visa needs to be taken from the country where we spend the maximum number of days in EU. It was Italy for us. But since that was out of the question, I made cancellable bookings in hotels in Amsterdam and Brussels, for all the days that we were going to be in Italy. The Netherlands consulate is the only one that had the option of giving the interview in Denver and did not require us to fly to faraway lands for the interview. We removed Italy completely out of the itinerary and showed to the Netherlands consulate that we were going to be in Amsterdam and Brussels. After a 5 min interview and a few candies later we got the Schengen visa's from Denver. I promptly canceled all our Netherlands hotel bookings and used the visa for Paris and Italy. Phew!! we would complete our trip now and it was going to be so mind bogglingly awesome. “Earth Calling San! Do you copy?”.We are all set now, yippie.

What is Love

I have this habit of reading thoughts, proverbs, phrases etc. for passing time at work. I think I understand things better when I read other peoples point of view on it. It makes my thinking more spherical. Anyway, yesterday I was reading about LOVE. Maybe I was trying to find purls of wisdom in my five year marriage. Maybe I was feeling like a teenager in love eager to find what more was out there of the stuff that I was feeling. I just Googled it expecting to get good meanings of the word. The faithful Wikipedia called it the “Central Psychological Emotion”. There was someone there who even went to the extent of actually giving a comparison of scientific models to show how Love was modeled in Biology and Psychology. That sounded, well, meaningful but did not strike a chord. So that was not something that I was looking for. I kept following links in hope of finding something that would resonate with what I was feeling. Well I did find one that came pretty close.

“To describe love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavor. So with love.”

I liked this for two reasons. One because of the abstraction used in comparing love to a fruit and the second because whoever thought of this chose a fruit which was sometimes sweet and sometimes sour. :-) Thats the truth about Love isn't it? It is sweet for the lucky one's who have just fallen into it, sour for the one's who have to live without it and a little bit of both for the ones who eventually stand after having fallen in it. Its when you stand in it that you actually know the meaning of unconditional love. Unconditional Love is the only kind of true love there is. Saint Paul said “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends”.

You can tell if you love someone when your heart aches and races, your face is flushed but your hands and feet get cold, you stomach turns and you get tingly all over at the sight of that person. Its either love or you are seriously coming down with a deadly illness..ha ha ha. But then again isn't real love like a lifelong illness that once you get, you can never get out of it? I don't know what it is to fall out of Love. Thankfully I say for myself. Coz I don't know what I would do without it. I would be lost. Love helps me find my way, everyday. My road to self-discovery is paved with Love. My ability to love keeps me going. Thankyou God for making me one of the lucky one's.

P.S: My 2 year old son Aarnav cannot say "Love" but his favorite song right now is (in his words) "What is la"

Mein aur meri tanhai.....

This is my favorite shayari by Gulzar from the film Silsila

"Mein Aur Meri Tanhai, Aksar Ye Baaten Karte Hain
Tum Hotin To Kaisa Hota, Tum Ye Kehtin, Tum Vo Kehtin
Tum Is Baat Pe Hairan Hotin, Tum Us Baat Pe Kitni Hanstin
Tum Hotin To Aisa Hota, Tum Hotin To Vaisa Hota
Mein Aur Meri Tanhai, Aksar Ye Baaten Karte Hain

Ye Raat Hai, Ya Tumhari Zulfen Khuli Hui Hain
Hai Chandni Ya Tumhari Nazron Se, Meri Raaten Dhuli Hui Hain
Ye Chand Hai, Ya Tumhara Kangan, Sitaare Hain Ya Tumhara Aanchal
Hava Ka Jhonka Hai, Ya Tumhare Badan Ki Khushboo
Ye Pattiyon Ki Hai Sarsarahat, Ke Tumne Chupke Se Kuch Kaha Hai
Ye Sochta Hoon Maein Kabse Gumsum
Ki Jabki Mujhko Bhi Ye Khabar Hai, Ki Tum Nahin Ho, Kahin Nahin Ho
Magar Ye Dil Hai Ki Keh Raha Hai, Tum Yahin Ho, Yahin Kahin Ho
Majboor Ye Haalaat, Idhar Bhi Hain Udhar Bhi
Tanhai Ke Ye Raat, Idhar Bhi Hai Udhar Bhi
Kehne Ko Bahut Kuchh Hai, Magar Kis Se Kahen Hum
Kab Tak Yoonhi Khaamosh Rahen, Aur Sahen Hum
Dil Kehta Hai Duniya Ki Har Ik Rasm Utha Dein
Deewaar Jo Hum Dono Mein Hai, Aaj Gira Dein
Kyun Dil Mein Sulagte Rahein, Logon Ko Bata Dein
Haan Humko Mohabbat Hai... Mohabbat Hai... Mohabbat Hai...
Ab Dil Mein Yahi Baat, Idhar Bhi Hai, Udhar Bhi "


Film: Silsila.
Lyrics: Gulzar.

To Return, or Not To Return : that is the question

This is the question that every Non-Resident Indian has asked himself/ herself many times. I was sure that I wanted to return back to India in around 10 years. That was 5 years ago. A lot has changed in these 5 years, in India and in my opinion as well.

Recently, I have started to put my reasons down on paper. Reasons, I want to go back – thats Option 1- and reasons I dont – Option 2. I have to say none of my reasons are logical. They are all emotionally driven because my attachment to India is emotional. If I come to think of it, am I really attached to India? Or is it just my hometown, Mumbai? To answer that question I asked myself another question. If I decide to return back to India, would I be happy to live in say for example, Bangalore, or Delhi? The answer came quiet quickly to me. It was No. I am biased towards Mumbai. Infact I would not give the time of day to any other city in India. Well to relax my obsession a little bit, I would not mind living in cities around Mumbai. Cities like Navi Mumbai, Lonavla, upto Pune all sound the same to me. As long as I can access my beloved Mumbai any day I want.

So far it looks like Option 1 is already contingent on Mumbai. Lets look at the various points that I would need in order to make Option 1 possible. This answer comes quickly as well. I need to live a content – aka emotionally fulfilling – aka happy and comfortable life. Wait a minute now, “comfortable” is a very subjective term. For me comfort is living with my family in a home that has 2 bedrooms and 2 baths atleast, having good food 3 times a day, having a car, having some kind of domestic help, good educational system for my children, being close of family, investments for retirement and then some. :-) Ok so my definition of comfort is pretty cliched then. But that is not all I need. Being happy involves more than material pleasures for me. Many people have told me, “if you have enough money, you can have the same or better standard of living in India, than here”. For me this statement has no meaning. I lived a happy life with a decent standard of living (for Mumbai) coming from a medium middle class family. I had basic things in life, no show-shine as they call it. So I know that I dont need a lot of money to be happy. If I want to live happily in a world, the world around me needs to be happy first. If I live in paradise, I know I will be happy. Paradise is any place of complete bliss and delight and peace – by definition. The place is made by the people who live in it. Unhappy, discontent people make for a unhappy place.

The thing that breaks my heart when I go back to India now is the plight of the street children. Poverty is not new in India, so why is it now that I have suddenly started noticing it even though I have been in an out of the country so many times before? Maybe because I am a mother now and my motherly emotions are stronger than ever. It breaks my heart to see children begging on the street, maimed and hungry, being abused, left to die even sometimes. I cant help but see that many of them are unwanted, mere byproducts of lust, or sometimes just a product to be made money from. I see them everywhere now, when I visit, their silent eyes screeming for a chance. I want to help them all, cure them of their suffering, give each of them a chance to make someone of themselves, being joy and smiles into their lives, give them a chance to become better individuals, show them the path to endless possibilities......it is just extremely overwhelming. A tornado unveils in my heart every time I see a street kid crying.
Can I really live in a place, where a day does not go by when I dont cry at night, because I feel helpless and angry?

There is no shortage of unfortunate godforsaken children in the United States either, but people have invested a lot of time and resources in efforts to make the situation better. You would not see kids hungry, abused and dying infront of you in day to day life. Thats is the reason it sticks out like a sore thumb when I come to India. People in India say, westerners only photograph poverty, naked street kids etc when they come to India. Just sit back and think carefully, what would you photograph if you went to a foreign place? You would photograph the things that you have never seen before and are completely out of the ordinary for you, right? So thats what they see and that is precisely what they photograph. The statement that there is more to India, than just poor people is cowardly at best. There are castles and temples and lots of wonderful things in other countries too, and its sad that the uniqueness of India lies in its Indifference.

I cannot cure my country from poverty, but I can atleast help a child get a better life. That would be doing my part and my duty to my country. I have now decided that my visits to India will not be vacations anymore, they will be missions, dedicated to helping kids. I am fortunate to have a family back in India who is already driven in this task and I will be more than happy to join them and help in any way I can.

So wait a minute, what conclusion does that bring to the eternal question of “To Return, or not to return”? The answer to that, looks like, is not easy. I can be happy and give my all and help only if I am mentally strong and emotionally stable. I can do that living here, in the US. If I return to India for good, I fear I will break. Handling emotionally draining situations is not easy for me. So for now I will stick to where I am, try to work on my passion in the best way I can and never forget that “...this is just another day for me in Paradise”. Another day in this Paradise, trying to create a Paradise for someone else.

Turning 30 – End of an Era

Well I have always thought of the day I will turn 30. Since the time I was 24 or 25 probably. I remember then, I used to feel like that time will never come and the world will probably cease to exist or something and I will forever be 25, not because I feared what the 30-ies will have in store for me, but because I loved my 20-ies so much, that I wanted to be stuck in time. Even when I was in my teens, I always wanted to be in my 20-ies. That was for a different reason though. Being a teenager was horrible for me. I was angry a lot and was unsure of what I really wanted. I was aware of this fact all the time and the only thing I was sure about was that once I turn 20 I will magically have a clear idea of what I wanted.

And thankfully I was right. I did know what I wanted and was lucky enough to get it. That made me want even more to stay 25.

But, as you can see time did actually pass and now I am 29. It is my last year where my age will begin with the number 2.

A lot has happened in the past decade. I got my Bachelors and Masters degree, Worked in a few companies, earned a decent amount of money, bought a house and car, saw half of the world, fell in love, got married, had a child, and even gained a decent amount of weight! (What?... it is a package deal).

I also learned about the not-so-rosy facts of life. This down-time in life made me appreciate what i have and learn the most important emotion according to me – Compassion. I have real friends and I am more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t live by someone else’s definitions of what I should be, how I should look or what I should wear. I have a clear idea about how I am going to raise my son and where I want to be at 60 and the most important thing – I know how to get there.

So why the hell would I want to leave my twinkling 20-ies behind and step onto the unfamiliar 30-ies ground. I say now, why the hell not? What have I to lose? Well, ha ha ... Now isn't that convenient. Yes it is, but here's my take on it...do I have a choice? I can be 30 and crib about it or else I can suck it up and live with the same (or better) standards that I am right now. I am surely not going to commit the same mistakes that I have learnt from in my 20-ies (Really?.. History does have a way of repeating itself). Who can tell until I actually go for it. (Again, like I have a choice!)

It makes me curious now about what the other side of the hill has in store for me when I hear women saying "welcome to the club. It only gets better," and listening to the people who had a hard time turning 30 say things like "it all goes downhill from here" and thinking to myself... "not for me!”

There are times when I have a dejavu about the way I think sometimes. Isnt this the same way I used to think when I was 16? Have I really changed in the way my thoughts proceed? I would like to think that I have matured in that sense, but the teenager in me still lives and thinks in the same way and even gets angry and wants to throw things. But the 20 something woman know better and talks her out of nasty situations. I have a lot of such silent one on one conversations with myself and I wonder do we really change a whole lot as we get older? We dont change – I think – we only get wiser. I dont fret over whether everyone likes me or not. Now, I like who I am and if someone doesn't, I don't give a damn.My husband and my son are the most important people in my life, and my priorities are set right.

I have done, achieved and experienced a lot of things in the past decade and truthfully I am waiting to open the treasure chest for the next decade. I believe whatever happens, happens for the best and life goes on whether you want it or not. “Live like you were dying”, said Tim McGraw and that is exactly what I am going to try to do in the next 10 years. After all life begins again at 40 anyways. :-)

So cheers to 30, Bring it On!!!!